Even with my mom around, doing almost everything that needs to be done besides nurse this new baby of ours, I seem to have my hands full most of the time. So in lieu of my own pictures, I stole some off my mother's camera since she has been happily snapping away.

It has startled me again, to watch someone else view our life here, when I have grown so accustomed to it. The things that seem strange, or hard, or adventurous, are at least commonplace to my own experience. Things like the traffic, or the way the little kids are dressed, or the dirt that covers everything, or the busyness and chaos of the neighborhood streets. 

It's also sweet to see the things in my kids through a grandma's eyes that I sometimes am too tired or worn out to notice. Like this picture of them playing hide and go seek... hiding each others eyes while they count.

or Scout's ability to make friends with just about anyone, and her endless desire to do so.

the way they make lemonade from lemons... or find ways to play with grass and the outdoors even though there is so little of it to go around.

The way our small apartment allows for so much togetherness. right. on. top. of. each. other.

how a rainy day and missing umbrellas makes us run for the garbage bags and I can be sort of proud that my little boys aren't growing up wimpy where they can't get a little (or a lot) wet on their way to school!

how our "mini van" in China is so much more fun than a Dodge Caravan.

and the traffic is easier to weave through when there are no rules...

And without car seat restrictions we can pile one mama, one baby, one grandma, and three kids onto a three-wheel scooter to go get dinner.

How dinner on the street can cost about five US dollars and still feed the whole family.

My hands are full. And so is my heart. I love living here and I'm so thankful we are given the opportunity to do so. 

books, babies and babushkas (that's a grandma)

It occurred to me to download whatever snippets we've been gathering on the camera and post a few of them here, along with an update on our current day to day doings. Somewhat to my embarrassment, all that I found were pictures of people holding books, or sleeping. Seems we need to get out more or find something else to do. Not that reading is bad. It's just, well, not the only thing there is. And I suppose it could, in some sense encourage anti-social behaviors, or the neglect of housework, or the onset of an interior life to the neglect of the world around you. Anyway. They're just pictures. It's really not all we're doing.

The Baby, as we've taken to calling him (oh dear, his lot in life as the last in line begins) is a delight. He's so "squishy" as Scout likes to say. And we all like to squish him. He sleeps and eats and rarely changes things up. But still, we can't get enough of him.

The Girl is firmly in the midst of Grandma Boot Camp. My mom, who has come to stay with us for several weeks (and is nothing short of The Most Helpful Person in the World) has taken it upon herself to reform this wayward child who has been at the mercy of my tired and unmotivated mothering the last several months. Don't worry, it's not the intrusive, overbearing kind of reforming... simply the thoughtful observations of a loving mom and gramma who is helping this tired momma and her itchy little girl by establishing some much needed routine. So they do puzzles (set the timer... 15 minutes!), they read a book, they build with blocks, they listen to stories or songs, go outside, read again, color a picture, and on it goes. I'm so thankful. I can only hope that I have as much energy and generous love as she does when I am a grandma someday.

Oh, and the other thing we do is cook. And wash the floors. My mother keeps commenting on these elaborate meals I am making (such as soup. and pizza), when really what I think she is noticing is the fact that nearly everything must be truly made here, often from scratch. I am used to it by now, and don't really notice the extra time or planning it takes to prepare a meal. But I suppose it is nice to feel like someone thinks you are a gourmet chef for making your own granola.

Food, books, a new baby, and Grandma. What more do we need really?

A Bit of Blackberry Cobbler

Berries are not very prevalent here. Strawberries are the only exception, sitting in plump piles of unnatural size and color due to the chemicals that are pumped in their little bodies. Sometimes I buy the imported frozen blueberries or raspberries that are sold at one singular store for a hefty price. So the other day when I happened upon these fresh, healthy looking blackberries priced like fruit ought to be in China, I had to snatch them up.

 I've never made anything with blackberries before. Pinterest provided some exciting ideas... spritzers, cocktails, pies, cobblers. I went with the cobbler so everyone could enjoy it and enjoy it we did. I'll share the recipe here- it's very simple and I only changed a few minor things which may or may not have made it better. The best part was how well the whipped cream actually whipped up. Usually it's a sad little dribble of barely thickened liquid. But last night, the gods were smiling and it was as firm and fluffy as a pile of cotton- except of course, way tastier.

Easy Blackberry Cobbler

(adapted from this recipe)

4 cups fresh blackberries

1 T. lemon juice

sugar to taste (depending on sweetness/tartness of your berries)

1 or 2 tsp cinnamon

1 large egg

1 cup sugar

1 cup flour

6 T. cold butter

whipped cream (optional)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Place blackberries in a lightly greased 8-inch square baking dish; sprinkle with lemon juice, cinnamon, and sugar (if needed). Stir together sugar and flour; cut in butter with pastry cutter. Add egg and stir until mixture resembles coarse meal. Sprinkle over fruit. Bake at 375 for 35 minutes or until lightly browned and bubbly. Let stand 10 minutes. Serve warm with whipped cream.

I'm Back... with a Baby

My, oh my. Quite the hiatus we've had here. Quite the year. It's been slow going and arduous in many ways and I think that has shown itself in almost every area of my life, including the state of this blog. But we are coming around. 

The weather has brightened up, for one. Just when you think you may lose it if there is one more cold, rainy, overcast day... the sun comes out and the air warms up and for a few short months we are enveloped in this little cocoon of loveliness. I won't say it hasn't done wonders for our mental health. It has possibly even made us better parents, spouses, heck- citizens of the world.

Beyond the weather, we added a member to our family! What began as a time of trepidation shortly after our arrival in our new home, as we found out much to our surprise that we were pregnant with our fourth child, has now come full circle and we joyfully and I can even say gratefully and with great delight welcomed our third little man and fourth crazy kid into the world on April 17. He's a dream baby so far. It's like he knew he needed to steal our hearts right from the get-go and he has not wasted any time. We all adore him and he makes it so easy with his chilled manner, gorgeous chubby cheeks and kissable little lips. He took to nursing like a champ, sleeps and wakes and does all that stuff you work so hard to get babies to do with ease. I keep saying, "how long is this going to last?" Love him.

I'm also posting a few birth announcements I had fun playing around with. The Man says I should start a new business... sarcastic birth announcements. I don't know what my problem is.

We have been graciously carried along through so much this year and I am feeling grateful and hopeful that we are rounding the bend a little. There have been a few moments, walking home in the late evening with the leaves rustling slightly in a warm breeze, or in the early hours of a bright new day beginning, when we have looked at each other and said, "we're doing okay... I even feel like I'm starting to like it here..." and that is a good feeling. I look at my four kids and though I'm battling fatigue and the irritation that seems to inevitably come with it... I love them and can't believe that they have really all come through this singular body and entered into our family to stay. It feels complete.

Days of Gray 7 {not so gray}

The days have been full around here of late. Quite a few visitors dropping in for a night or two or five. Nesting has kicked in and since there is little else to do (can't shop, and we don't have a nursery...) but clean, I have started detailing the crooks and crannies of every room in our apartment. There have been projects too... "Can you design the graduation invitations for school? Can you watch my kids for a day?" And the projects I sign myself up for... "Can I take pictures of your newborn?" 

This last one was a fun one for me, who has had little time or inspiration for photography since we moved and has never tried photographing a newborn! It certainly is a challenge- but I can see how it could be rewarding if you worked at it. It's a nice gift to give an adoring parent, who probably snaps a lot of photos every day anyway and wants something that captures how sweet and wonderful their new little one is.

Everything they say about working with a week old baby is true as well: they poop everywhere, all the time. They need lots of heat and warmth since they're naked, which means you will end up sweating like a pig. They are not always easy to get to sleep even though they're supposed to be sleepy! You need a lot of time and patience. 

It was surprising to me how much of a "pick me up" doing this little photo shoot with my friend and her baby was. And did I mention that the weather has been remarkable? Don't picture blue skies- that would be silly. But the air has warmed up, buds are sprouting, and the sun has blown kisses at us for several days in a row- albeit through a sheet of hazy pollution and thin clouds, but it was there and we could feel it. 

Days of Gray 6 {the weight of a child}

Today I listened to the heartbeat of my baby, beating strong at nearly 35 weeks, and threatening to take over the entire middle portion of my body.

Today I learned that one of my loved ones went to the same appointment, only to find that the heartbeat was no longer there.

Today I watched a video on the Invisible Children of Africa who are barely babies themselves.

Today I was at times highly irritated at the way my children bickered, and at other moments, charmed and softened by their antics and blossoming personalities. I knew I was blessed to be surrounded by them, in all their afflictions, failures, and wonders.

Today I remembered, as I have nearly every day in recent months, that a few short weeks from now will mark the one year anniversary of the tragic accident and death of a friend's 10 year old son.

Today I thought about my growing anticipation to meet this newest member of our family, with the words, "every life matters" rattling around in my head, thinking about how I was originally disappointed to see the two pink lines and how, in grace, I have moved away from that thought.

Days of Gray 5 {keeping on}

The drizzle from the sky keeps coming, and I am beginning to know that to stay here means to accept it. For the past several months, there seems to always be someone coming down with something: a fever, a cough, congestion, runny nose and eyes, sore throat, sleeplessness, and I am beginning to think that to stay here means to accept this as well, rather than be discouraged by it. There is less time for creative pursuits, less motivation or material for photographs and blogging, and I am beginning to wonder if to be here, fully here in the way I have been asked to be, means also to accept this.

The drizzle continues and I go out and walk in it. I listen to words from Tim Keller on tears and our emotions and what to do with them- how the Bible gives us a third way-- not the religiosity that says "ignore your feelings!" or the modern thinking that says "indulge your feelings!" but a third way that says "invest them." And really, the investing happens through prayer. Acceptance then, of whatever is given, comes all wrapped up in quite a weight of feelings... and all of it is poured out, sowing a rich reward of joy, through prayer.

Gray days may not have a lot of color to them, but they are not without their own kind of light, even illumination.