Days of Gray 7 {not so gray}

The days have been full around here of late. Quite a few visitors dropping in for a night or two or five. Nesting has kicked in and since there is little else to do (can't shop, and we don't have a nursery...) but clean, I have started detailing the crooks and crannies of every room in our apartment. There have been projects too... "Can you design the graduation invitations for school? Can you watch my kids for a day?" And the projects I sign myself up for... "Can I take pictures of your newborn?" 

This last one was a fun one for me, who has had little time or inspiration for photography since we moved and has never tried photographing a newborn! It certainly is a challenge- but I can see how it could be rewarding if you worked at it. It's a nice gift to give an adoring parent, who probably snaps a lot of photos every day anyway and wants something that captures how sweet and wonderful their new little one is.

Everything they say about working with a week old baby is true as well: they poop everywhere, all the time. They need lots of heat and warmth since they're naked, which means you will end up sweating like a pig. They are not always easy to get to sleep even though they're supposed to be sleepy! You need a lot of time and patience. 

It was surprising to me how much of a "pick me up" doing this little photo shoot with my friend and her baby was. And did I mention that the weather has been remarkable? Don't picture blue skies- that would be silly. But the air has warmed up, buds are sprouting, and the sun has blown kisses at us for several days in a row- albeit through a sheet of hazy pollution and thin clouds, but it was there and we could feel it. 

All We Had Was Backpacks

 

The day after Christmas, we traveled down into the heart of the city to spend a couple hours assembly-line fashion, packing backpacks for a project undertaken by a local Relief Organization that was providing mittens, socks, hats, and school supplies to some of the poorest children in Sichuan province. The day after that, I was lovingly sent off by my husband and children to join a small group that would travel to two schools, and two registered churches in the province, where we would distribute the bags and see some of these communities firsthand.

There were many things about this trip that I was thankful for. The opportunity alone to get out of the city and see the mountain towns and people was enough on its own. Added to that the chance to talk with workers (like our leader, Joy) who are on the ground full time with these people and hear about the issues, concerns, victories, and struggles they are dealing with, as well as hearing the needs and hopes of the local leaders in their cities was something I am rarely able to do, but so thankful for and inspired by.

It was also eye opening on many levels. China is vast and complicated. Many things you hear are true in one place, but not another. So to hear how things are being done, and what the true needs are, was in some ways different than the way things are often presented in media or from decades old realities that are not always the case anymore.

Mostly though, I was just humbled to be in the presence of so many children who treated us as though we were offering them the moon, when all we had brought was simple backpacks with a few necessary items. They lined up to greet us, three thousand strong, and stood in the bitter cold as we bundled out of the bus and were offered hot tea and seats at a long, red table high up on stage. It is the standard practice in China, to do things with grandness and formality far beyond what the occasion may call for, even at a poor school in a rural town. And it is our duty to accept it all with graciousness, and allow them to treat us as honored guests, though I felt more like a sham who should have brought far more to deserve all this attention.

The backpacks mostly went to the poorest of students, and to those who are labeled as China's Left Behind children. These are children who are the victims of a cultural phenomenon of migration by working adults to the cities, where they go from poor rural areas with little opportunity, to be able to provide for their children and parents. Studies estimate that there are about 58 million of these children in China, living with aging grandparents or any family that is able to care for them, and often even being left to board at the schools they attend.

I went into the dorms of some of these children. Plain, unpainted concrete walls, black with mold, and long narrow rooms with no electricity lined on both sides with rustic metal bunkbeds, a simple slab of wood for a mattress and a quilt or two for bedding. This is all they own, besides the pencil and notebook and schoolbooks in their backpack down in the classroom.

 

We also visited a small woman and her fellowship. The small room, open to the outside was half filled with mostly old men and women, and she cried grateful tears as she told of their Christmas service which had gone so well, and had allowed them to go out on the streets. They sang, offered us more hot water for our freezing hands to hold, and shared with us their burdens and needs that they asked us to join them in remembering. It is remote there. Not many workers want to come. It is hard work, and slow- lonely at times.

The aging group is without a generation to follow it, and the young children are without a generation to parent them. It is a burdensome thing to see.

The church calendar traditionally celebrates Christmas for 12 days. On the fourth day, December 28th, we celebrate the Commemoration of the Holy Innocents, which is to remember the atrocity of Herod as he slaughtered all the two year old's in Bethlehem in an attempt to destroy the threat of the Messiah he had heard about. As I hugged these children who smile at me so willingly, but whose lives I can't imagine, the words of Bobby Gross, as he described the significance of remembering Herod's evil act, came to mind.

" To remember Herod's atrocity is to strip sentimentality from the birth of Christ. On this day we confront the evil in our world, the violence of the powerful against the weak, the sorrow of those who suffer injustice and the very real darkness into which the light shines."

Yes, Christmas is far more than just remembering it as Jesus' Birthday. There are real powers of darkness and suffering going on here. And there is a very real light that has come into the world and is coming again. It is not just a nice analogy.

Just as we shouldn't look at the manger with sentimentality, so we shouldn't view these children in that way either. There are many things about their lives that I am too far away from to understand or make conjectures about. But I am thankful to follow in footsteps of those who are far closer, and do what I can to be a hand or a foot or even just a big stubby toe.

photo&essay extravanganza

I think I've decided what to do around here for the next little bit. I saw this photo challenge list the other day on pinterest and it caught my eye... but I don't want to do a thirty day photo challenge. I don't want to just find another angle or subject to try and clear the inspirationless cobwebs in my head. I want to write. I want to think. I want to look around. But not just for the sake of looking.

I've moved to a new home. Okay, we all know that.

It's hard. I feel the dryness and the forlorn attitude that is starting to creep in because things are different here, and maybe a little more difficult. The sun doesn't shine very much, for one thing.

We've moved, it's hard, but I know this is where we are supposed to be. I'd love to be able to jump in and do all the things I was doing before and beginning to enjoy so much. I'd really love to be able to walk around and photograph this city like I was hired by National Geographic or something. I'd love to write a book and have it drip off my fingertips instead of having to fight fatigue, or all the other tasks that end up filling my day. I say these things to myself a little too much lately. Then I remember (or my better half reminds me) wait, this is my life. And it is good. It is given. I can already see the good work He is doing in my heart.

So yes, it's a little slumpy around here right now. Maybe I can't write about the things I think I should, that reflect China or our life here or who knows what else. Maybe my pictures are not forthcoming. But these are the days given to me, in my hands like putty, poured out with grace, though I may not be accepting it or willing to take it in it's given form. But who wants to be like that? I don't. I'm asking for help. I always need help.

I'm not sure all of what I need to do, maybe just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe drink more soothing beverages. Pray. But today I did think of one idea that sort of excited me, at least in the areas that tend to refresh and inspire me. Why not instead of just doing a photo challenge, or a series of writing prompts, combine the two? I could make a list of subjects- similar to the photo challenge above, and take a photo. But the really fun part would be to use that photo to prompt an essay. Not a journal entry, but an actual essay. One that makes you think of a theme, or leads into a memory, or rehearses a train of thought that in the end may reveal or teach you something.

That all sounds maybe a little too profound and important. There is no guarantee anything interesting of the sort will happen. But it would be fun (for me anyway) to try. It would give me some parameters, a backbone of sorts to build off of. And I like the idea of the writing especially, because that is often where the heart and soul work really grinds itself out, instead of just trying to take interesting photos.

I think I just may try it. A list of fifteen things. It doesn't have to be every day, though I'll try to be consistent about it. I cooked up a little list so I could be all fancy and serious about it, and mostly because I just think it's fun to do such things. Of course that means you'll know what's coming... but it also means you could do it too.

Parting Gifts Part II :: Love Your Neighbor

These are my nieghbors. We love them.

They are far more than just neighbors. More like family. Steph and Carolyn are roommates and teachers at our school here, but to my kids they are like fixtures: steady companions on Sunday evenings and Thanksgiving and Saturday morning when we need eggs or a babysitter.

One of my favorite things about these pictures is that it is so evident how comfortable my kids are with both of these wonderful women. We are really going to miss them. And like any true family member, they are not only loved by my children (though that's all we could get in the photos), but are dear friends to me as well.

Parting Gifts

It seems that Pictures are going to be my parting gifts. I like it. It's a way to give someone a hold on a memory that they may not have the means to do themselves. And it's inspiring to me. I get excited when I know something is important to someone... and it makes me want to capture it for them.

I have a good friend here, Sara (above, second from the right) and her good friend Mary (above far right) is leaving Qingdao this year after living here for almost 8 years. Mary and her husband adopted a little girl from China last year and she has some special needs that require attention in the States. It's a difficult departure for them, much like it is for us (times two since they have been here twice as long).

Sara and Mary and a few other friends have this long tradition of walking (nearly every day, and sometimes even more than that) into the center of town for Bubble Tea. This event holds all kinds of sentiment for them, from who they walk with, to the place they get it from, to the mysterious hold Bubble Tea has on them, to the years they have performed this almost daily routine.

When I found out they had no pictures of this place, or of them doing it together, I asked if I could tag along one day to try and capture it for them. And they let me. It almost seemed silly, but I know how sweet it is to have a visual stamp of a place and the people you were there with. And I hope this is just a token of that for them.