49/365 How Lent Begins

Every year I look forward to Lent. It's the kind of thing my personality seems suited for. Sit in the ashes. Think dark thoughts. Get serious about spiritual reflection.

As I read the opening lines to the Lent section of my favorite book for following the liturgical year, the words that struck me were "bright sadness." I have an easy time with the sadness part. But today I am challenged to think earlier, before Easter dawns, about the brightness that keeps us going in it. The bright hope that we have. 

I took a self-portrait for a challenge on Instagram, only joining in because being the first day of Lent, a look in the mirror, far beyond the physical but not excluding it, seemed appropriate. What I see when I look at myself is so often far from beautiful. It discourages me-- the ugliness of my spirit, the ways I fail to love, my thoughts, my attitude. A good hair day will never make up for all the parts that are undone inside.

The journey of Lent, in it's essence a spiritual exercise, is both a journey to look inward at our humanity, and outward to ponder anew the mystery of God's embrace in his redemptive act on the cross and in the tomb. It is a pretty hopeful journey. A bright journey, even though it walks through sad places.

A quote of Tim Keller's that often comes to mind is, "The Gospel is that I am far worse than I imagine and simultaneously more loved and accepted by God than I ever dared hope for-- because of Jesus death for me."

"To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of self-righteousness, and fortifies us from any difficulty life can throw at us."

48/365 Hairwash

Joining the crowds to get our hair washed and cut before the New Year. And dinner on the rooftop. Another beautiful day.

47/365 Get Out of the City

It never fails to amaze me how much good it does to get out of the city. I love the city. I hate the city. I love the city... 

But our bodies crave fresh air. Light through the trees. Dirt under our feet. Some form of a hue of blue in the sky. 

Why is it that every single time we get out as a family, into some form of nature, we are immediately refreshed, body, mind and soul? It feels almost silly, the amount of good it does us.

As always, we are grateful when we can do it together, and with friends it gets even better. As I sat on our rooftop this morning, drinking in the goodness of the presence of God in the many ways he gives it to us, feeling weights lift and seeing a light in the sky, I knew it. I knew today was going to be a good day.

46/365 Remnant of Sunday

45/365 China Come Home

The country is riding a wave. It is Chinese New Year and the streets have been flooded with lanterns, with children out of school, with carts full of all the bright red nian huo (New Year merchandise). As much as it can be hard to watch many of our friends leave for warmer climates during these few weeks, we have found a special contentment in being in the midst of all the celebrating. It is restful, in a way that our own all-important Christmas holiday is not. It is beautiful, watching such a rich culture and all the ways they celebrate the good gifts of life that God has intended-- family, food, joy, unity, blessing, provision. There are traditions and stories abundant that far exceed many of the ways I celebrate in my own life.

And it feels like nothing short of a privilege to be here. To be invited in to any degree, to witness and share in the lives of our friends here, and to watch strangers from afar, to be moved and burdened, to be a fellow laborer in lifting up before the throne of God all that needs crying out for in this country.

Often in our life here, I feel small, inhibited, crippled even in being able to do much good. At the very same time, there is a sense of immense blessing and responsibility. The word privilege in my mind, cannot be overused.

To know a friend's loneliness as she heads back to her family with all of its strains and pressures. To know the mother and father who are standing like faith-filled pioneers as they show their parents and neighbors what it means to love their child diagnosed with Down-Syndrome, to see the orphans with extreme disabilities lining the hallways, to tell of real and lasting Hope and Peace to an old woman in the mountains, to pass our grumpy neighbor everyday and offer a kind smile and a prayer in my head for whatever ails him, to walk the streets and ask for Light in dark places; these and so much more are like treasures entrusted to us.

This sweet and special time of year, this holiday with all of it's focus on going home, returning to your family, celebrating togetherness, feels like no better time than to lift this place up and pray for the family in China, for the coming Home of so many who are lost. As they come together, they are hurting and torn apart, and who of us doesn't know this to some degree in our own families? This is our highest hope and greatest need, to know reconciliation and real Love, with our God and with one another. #prayforchina.

44/365 Pink Just for Today

Down the road, peaking out from in between buildings or the lanes of a gongyuan, these pink blossomed trees are popping up. They are the winter blossom, the baby pink version of the sunny colored La Mei of China, and today it was like they were blowing kisses, reminding me that spring and beauty are coming again.

43/365 Up on the Rooftop...

The rooftop is waiting for spring, and so are we- though today was just a tad bit warm enough to lure us to spend a few hours cleaning up the garden area, puttering around the plants that are just barely showing their buds, still looking dormant and shriveled. Many of our friends have left the country for warmer places as the Chinese New Year holiday begins, so we decided to take to the roof for an outdoor lunch in the semi-sun and then did it again for dinner. Dinner gathering, next to that sweet spot of quiet before everyone else wakes up, is one of my most favorite times of the day.